See this cracker of a carousel?
The Brisbane Racing Club brought it all the way from Sydney to Doomben last weekend because some bright spark who knows nothing about the Sport of Kings thought it would be a great idea to have a big flash ride for the intoxicated to yahoo on after the Ten Thousand was run and won by Gai’s horse.
It cost more than $20 000 to have this beauty at the track for the big one.
It cost about the same not to make sure that Nifty Neville Bell – the Eagle Farm track killer – wasn’t at the course by sending him and his missus on a member paid first-class jaunt to Korea via Singapore so that he could watch his horse race at Kranji and then piss it up with the nobs in Seoul at the Asian Racing Conference, attendance at which is about as useful as tits on a bull for BrisVegas racing.
Can you remember the last time an Asian superstar still owned in its home country came over for a run in the Winter Carnival?
I will tell you when it was. Never. That’s when.*
His annual trips to Singapore under the guise of building a sister club relationship may well be one of the greatest rorts on the turf, but at least it keeps Nifty the hell away which has to be a bonus because the bloke is just dead set bad luck.
Blackouts on Cup Day, failed Sound of Music big screen productions (estimated audience of non-BRC staff or family members last week: 3), $95 million debt, $16 000 a week losses, a beach where Eagle Farm used to be, residential apartments that can’t sell because they’re built on a train line and next to a bunch of horse stables full of rats and flies, a farm of his own that he can’t flog, corruption scandals all around, a CEO who thinks the Stradbroke is run on the island, plummeting attendances, dud deals, $10 beers – you name it, Nifty stuffs it.
Just like the 20 plus grand carousel that a grand total of approximately 16 drunken sheilas and 7 others rode throughout the day at a cost of just under a thousand bucks a ride. Some of them apparently had wandered down from the Chief De Beers room so those adventurous buggers managed to score a double and two grand worth of freebies in a single afternoon.
As hard as he tries Little Dickie just can’t quite cut the mustard and doesn’t look the goods either. Nifty’s two-finger lift to the BRC members gifted the little fella his debut on the silver stage as part of the Bell Ringer’s strategised retire but keep control by whacking in one of the bottom academic decile kids from Nudgee as his successor, but sadly for those love a good rort and a look after your mates free kick and sling Little Dickie the career real estate agent just cannot cut the mustard and a better option to replace Nifty when he’s either booted or walks is sorely needed.
Which brings me at last to my point, and thanks for hanging around listening until I finally got here.
Brisbane Racing needs a hero.
We have one waiting in the wings, and although I understand that he is reluctant it’s a case of cometh the hour, cometh the man, and a fella who was struck good fortune on the turf owes it to the industry to give something back, particularly when his acumen, talents, personality and incorruptibility mean that he has a whole lot to give.
There’s only one name worth speaking about as the next Chair of the BRC my friends.
Mr Winx, Peter Tighe.
Peter Tighe, come on down.
We need you mate.
We need Mary Collier too,
Mary Collier come on down.
The Dream Team.
The duo who can save Brisbane Racing.
The only pair with the skills and passion and knowledge and experience to do it.
We’re in the trenches Pete and Mary, and things are looking real crook. We need two great racing achievers to grab us by the hand and lead us out of this mess that Bell and his mates have landed in, and you are the two to do it.
This is BrisVegas racing’s hour of need.
We need two heroes.
And they’re you.
Get us the Farm back. Make racing great again. Pull us out of this mire that these self-interested real estate agents and money men have got us into.
Set us free,